Friday, August 19, 2011

I think I'm being "Interrupted"...

Webster defines interrupted as the following: to cause a break in the continuity or uniformity of or to stop in the midst of doing or saying something.

Tonight is the 2nd "Oxygen" young adult ministry meeting where we are going through the study Interrupted. The more I dive into this study...the more interrupted my life feels. I know this is a good thing or should I say a God thing:) Jen Hatmaker talks about how sweet it is when you get to the bottom. She says it is really nice down there. I know this to be true as I have visited there. I think I am trying to get used to this idea that just maybe...God wants me to live there and NOT just be a visitor!

For a few years now, God has often reminded me of the excess that I have in my life. It is just such a chore to get the stuff together and then actually know what to do with it to help someone in need. I know my desires for more stuff has certainly changed. I don't really want to do excessive shopping for pointless items anymore. I'm not an unreasonable clothes shopper. I guess I would honestly have to say that most of my money in excess is spent on books and eating out. God has certainly done some work in me, but as I have shared before...I have been holding out in the back of my mind for the next house. I have been anxiously awaiting that sale of our home in Greensburg so we can make plans for where we will live next. God has provided us a home in the meantime and I promise I am trying to be content, but I think it is more about having a place that is mine rather than someone elses. On the flip side...I know God is not going to sell our home until my heart lines up according to His will.

God is passing people through my life that has afforded me the great opportunity to make friends and just listen and support others that are going through tough things in life. Giving of our time is a big interruption when you race through most days to see how many things you can check off your "To Do" list and keep moving.

I was thinking the other day, if I gave all the trivial stuff away in my life, I wouldn't need a very large place to live and there would be a lot less to take care of. The money we would save in a house payment and utilities would help me to help more people that are facing really challenging times. What an amazing opportunity it would be to point people to Jesus through those relatioships.

I wonder how many other people around me feel like their lives are being interrupted for the cause of Christ?

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

My Anchored Heart~

I thought I had things figured out enough that I was at least going in the right direction with my heart, but I’m coming to realize that I have this anchor attached deep inside that restrains me from drifting freely to the movement of God’s Holy Spirit unhindered.

If I get really honest with myself and God I am really ashamed and embarrassed that I am finding myself in this place. I desire to please God, but when it starts to cut a little too deep into what I am comfortable with I tend to pull back and find a place that allows me to be okay with it all. Here lately, the “American Dream” is being tossed in front of me. The Interrupted study we recently started talks about how we are too busy ministering to saved people and dreaming about our next big home. Then, today I find “Radical” and on the cover it says taking back your faith from the American Dream. I visited the website of “Radical” and listened to the video clip available online. It talked about how God might just call you to sell everything you own and follow Him. Could I do it? My stomach did a flip and I sat there with this feeling of not knowing what to do next. The truth of the matter is this...I honestly have tried to get a visual in my minds eye about what it would be like to sell all things that were not absolutely necessary. We are not debt free, but we have been striving toward that goal for a few years now and there is a freedom that comes with paying off debt! We are closer than we have ever been and sometimes I think how cool it would be to just sell off all things that are not needed and pay the remainder of our debt so that all of our income could be directed toward the Kingdom of God. Then...the reality of it all hits me square in the face and takes my breath. Lately, my idea of the American Dream is being flipped upside down.

There is one thing that Jen Hatmaker stated during the Interrupted study...(and I paraphrase)"This isn't fun, but when you get down there in this part of your heart it is where true fulfillment lies." Do you want it? Do I want it?