He's Alive in the Hearts of His People

Here lately I have been doing a great deal of reflection on my journey with Jesus. There has just been something missing and as always I'm certain to be the problem. I try too hard to figure things out sometimes instead of just turning to God first. I get distracted sometimes and turn to Jesus last. Not my proudest momment, but it happens I must admit.

Anyway, during my time of reflection and searching I ran across a journal entry from December 3, 2007 that described a day in my life that was just like entertaining an angel. It went something like this...

We were landing in DC as we flew right past the Pentagon building. I was praying and asking God if He wanted me to go and prayer walk around the capitol building. I didn't have the right shoes for walking and really didn't want to go on this day, but was willing if God prompted me to do so. I just cried out to God to make Himself real to me on this day because I felt as if I was missing Him so much. I kid you NOT, within 30 minutes I was sitting down having lunch in the airport when a dark skinned gentleman (much like this picture) approached me and asked if he could sit with me to have lunch. This man was on break from his first week at work with the airlines. He spoke English although it was quite broken. Turns out, he is from the Sudan region of Africa. I was quietly talking to God about what to say to this man because I knew I had prayed a short time ago asking God to show Himself real to me. I knew this had to be of God. I blurted out, "Do you celebrate Christmas?" He looked back at me with a grin the size of Texas and said, "oh yes!" He proceeded to tell me that he would go to church. I asked what kind of church and he replied Pentecostal. He went on to tell me that he grew up Muslim, went to Catholic school, and now goes to a Pentacostal church. I became excited with the anticipation that he surely must know my Jesus! I immediately had to ask him if he knew Jesus and without a second of hesitation he volnteered that he was a born-again believer in Jesus Christ! The radient white teeth shining through his smile will forever be burned into my mind. He started to tell me that many people say Jesus is dead, but he took his fist and pounded it upon his heart telling me that He's NOT, Jesus is alive in the hearts of His people. He kept telling me we have to pray and let the Holy Spirit move, pray and let the Holy Spirit move. As his lunch came to an end, he let me know his time was up and he wanted to pray with me. This man reached across the table and took my right hand while praying for me. He then got up and left. I cannot tell you in words what happened inside of my heart during this moment in time. All I can say is He's Alive in the Hearts of His People and He hears our cries. I'm amazed at how the Lord sees the inside of our heart and knows what we need and when we need it. I needed that reminder that He is in fact ALIVE in the hearts of His people. God strolled my memory right back to one of the most powerful times in my journey when He revealed to me how ALIVE He is...and I receive it today!

Remember...We All Need Forgiveness~

I pretty much skipped out on the month of September and just didn't post. I tried, but just couldn't come up with anything. I must admit I've been caught up in a bit of a funk! I have been hanging on by a thread that is almost broken and I hate to admit that, but it is so true! I must say, I am so very thankful for those that have prayed for me and showered me with cards or words of encouragement through this little sad season.

There has been so many things going on in the lives of so many and as I have found myself ministering and loving on others, I can't help but take on their burden as part of my own. I'm pretty sure I will NEVER be immune to that nor do I really want to be. I can't help but hurt when people are hurting as they are reaching out for help. I always want to be ready to share the love of Jesus and point those in great need toward the cross of Christ!



This picture is a reflection of where forgivenss is found and I love it because it reminds me of my constant need for forgiveness in my life. Sure, I have brought many big issues of my life to Jesus, but I still battle so many things that reflect the attitude of my heart that might be less than pleasing to my savior on a good day. For example, I have belly-ached about my living situation for months now. It doesn't help that Kayla is growing wrestless and she's my baby so naturally I want to act fast for her sake. I have tried to orchestrate everything known to man so that things can change in my time and NOT so much God's time. Not a good idea and I don't recommend it:) I ultimately don't want to make any decision outside of God's perfect will for our lives, but sometimes I think I can come up with a great idea and then pray for God to bless it so it is okay to move forward with my plan exactly as I thought it up. HaHa...jokes on me with that one! I know better and am so frustrated that I fall for this tactic everytime I get impatient and tired of waiting. I have been so sideways in my life for the last month, I have fallen way short in my commitment to First Place 4 Health. I should have lost 10 pounds by now and I think with my losses and gains I am at a 2.2 pound loss overall.

The good news in all of this...I have managed to remain in God's word and in my Bible study most every single day and without doubt have been sustained during this season I've been experiencing. I am so thankful that God is the same yesterday, today, and forevermore. I am the one that moves and not God.

I think I'm being "Interrupted"...

Webster defines interrupted as the following: to cause a break in the continuity or uniformity of or to stop in the midst of doing or saying something.

Tonight is the 2nd "Oxygen" young adult ministry meeting where we are going through the study Interrupted. The more I dive into this study...the more interrupted my life feels. I know this is a good thing or should I say a God thing:) Jen Hatmaker talks about how sweet it is when you get to the bottom. She says it is really nice down there. I know this to be true as I have visited there. I think I am trying to get used to this idea that just maybe...God wants me to live there and NOT just be a visitor!

For a few years now, God has often reminded me of the excess that I have in my life. It is just such a chore to get the stuff together and then actually know what to do with it to help someone in need. I know my desires for more stuff has certainly changed. I don't really want to do excessive shopping for pointless items anymore. I'm not an unreasonable clothes shopper. I guess I would honestly have to say that most of my money in excess is spent on books and eating out. God has certainly done some work in me, but as I have shared before...I have been holding out in the back of my mind for the next house. I have been anxiously awaiting that sale of our home in Greensburg so we can make plans for where we will live next. God has provided us a home in the meantime and I promise I am trying to be content, but I think it is more about having a place that is mine rather than someone elses. On the flip side...I know God is not going to sell our home until my heart lines up according to His will.

God is passing people through my life that has afforded me the great opportunity to make friends and just listen and support others that are going through tough things in life. Giving of our time is a big interruption when you race through most days to see how many things you can check off your "To Do" list and keep moving.

I was thinking the other day, if I gave all the trivial stuff away in my life, I wouldn't need a very large place to live and there would be a lot less to take care of. The money we would save in a house payment and utilities would help me to help more people that are facing really challenging times. What an amazing opportunity it would be to point people to Jesus through those relatioships.

I wonder how many other people around me feel like their lives are being interrupted for the cause of Christ?

My Anchored Heart~

I thought I had things figured out enough that I was at least going in the right direction with my heart, but I’m coming to realize that I have this anchor attached deep inside that restrains me from drifting freely to the movement of God’s Holy Spirit unhindered.



If I get really honest with myself and God I am really ashamed and embarrassed that I am finding myself in this place. I desire to please God, but when it starts to cut a little too deep into what I am comfortable with I tend to pull back and find a place that allows me to be okay with it all. Here lately, the “American Dream” is being tossed in front of me. The Interrupted study we recently started talks about how we are too busy ministering to saved people and dreaming about our next big home. Then, today I find “Radical” and on the cover it says taking back your faith from the American Dream. I visited the website of “Radical” and listened to the video clip available online. It talked about how God might just call you to sell everything you own and follow Him. Could I do it? My stomach did a flip and I sat there with this feeling of not knowing what to do next. The truth of the matter is this...I honestly have tried to get a visual in my minds eye about what it would be like to sell all things that were not absolutely necessary. We are not debt free, but we have been striving toward that goal for a few years now and there is a freedom that comes with paying off debt! We are closer than we have ever been and sometimes I think how cool it would be to just sell off all things that are not needed and pay the remainder of our debt so that all of our income could be directed toward the Kingdom of God. Then...the reality of it all hits me square in the face and takes my breath. Lately, my idea of the American Dream is being flipped upside down.



There is one thing that Jen Hatmaker stated during the Interrupted study...(and I paraphrase)"This isn't fun, but when you get down there in this part of your heart it is where true fulfillment lies." Do you want it? Do I want it?

Accepting the things you cannot change~

Tonight I am sharing my testimony with women at the jail. I know I will be facing a group from all walks of life that are in a place they never really planned for their lives. I will be speaking to someone's mom, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, etc... I have never been in jail myself, but I know that my drug addiction could have very easily led me there if my situation had not come to a stop when it did. I still experienced many of the feelings personally that I know these women in jail are dealing with. I remember thinking my life was over on some level and I feared that I would never be respected as a nurse again. I was worried that I would forever carry with me a stereotype that screamed drug addict! I was truly at the end of "myself" as I like to call it. In looking back now...this was such a sweet place to be. When I am weak, He is strong! Without doubt, God had to allow this in my life so He could get me still and humble enough to listen and realize that I for once didn't have all the answers. Today, I can honestly say I am thankful for my drug addiction because it was through this valley that I was able to have the eyes of my heart fully opened to see Jesus for who He really is to me.

Are you seriously "for real"?

Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. Matthew 7:15 NKJV

As time marches on and this old world continues to turn on it's axis, surely as it is written in Matthew 24:24...For false christs and false prophets will rise and show great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect.

It's happening all around me. There is just enough Jesus sprinkled on so many people's faith to give it the flavor of truth mentioned in the Bible, but at the same time leaving the doorway open for negotiation when those uncomfortable with the "truth" are called to task in putting legs on their faith. Walking with Jesus is not about unicorns and rainbows in a world of utopia where all things turn out to have a nice and sweet little ending. The truth is about a Holy God, our creator, desiring worship from His children in spite of our nasty selves so much so that He made a way for us through the blood of Jesus Christ!

Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

That being said and true, this means that we have to come to the realization that we have nothing within our own strength to save ourself. There is absolutely nothing we can do and therefore we are weak and powerless in our own skin. We must have the power of the Holy Spirit to come in and provide what we need to be saved. The death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus is making that provision for ALL who believe on the name of Jesus and profess Him as Lord and Savior!!!

Hebrew 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever~

I visited Multnomah Falls in Portland, OR on Sunday afternoon and this picture was just one of many taken. This natural beauty is so majestic you cannot restrain from just wanting to take picture after picture in hopes of capturing that perfect angle of the falls thundering down. The soothing sound of water falling continuously with no end suddenly reminded me of God's unending love for each of His children. His love is never changing...Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever!

And...the neat thing about God...as you take the journey with Jesus, you never know what the path will look like. As I was making my way to Multnomah Falls I took a wrong turn with the use of my GPS...go figure...



Anyway, I turned around when I realized I was headed in the wrong direction. Sometimes when we make wrong turns things might not always look this amazing, but they certainly can once we turn around and give all the broken peices of our lives to Him. Which reminds me of one of my favorite Bible verses...Romans 8:28